Mental Health and IBD
Mental health is the part of IBD that is not talked about enough (in my own personal opinion). There needs to be more awareness to how hard it is to come to terms with the diagnosis, to learn to live with the disease, and to figure out how to balance health and societal/work responsibilities. People go through a constant battle to overcome new hurdles in their minds. It's a continuous unfolding of new symptoms, medications, treatments, and procedures, and with each new experience comes a new needing for acceptance, and for even more self compassion to the physical, and mental, side of the person.
To break it down for anyone who hasn’t had a chronic disease before--it's fucking hard.
It seems that doctors are finally starting to put two and two together when it comes to IBD, and the mind/gut connection. Our mood affects our gut, and our gut affects our mood, talk about the worse yin and yang relationship to exist. But it is imperative to understand this and to become even more in tune to how your body AND your mind is feeling, in order to be able to decipher a stress attack or an emergency IBD attack.
When I was first diagnosed I went through a long grieving period. Granted, I was only 10 at the time so I didn’t have enough understanding of this human experience yet to be able to put a name to all of the emotions I was experiencing. It wasn’t until I had gotten older and experienced more of life that I was able to find an explanation to it all: I was grieving the body I once had, the life I was once able to build out in my mind. I now had to accept a daunting disease that I didn’t know enough about. I just knew I had something inside of me that I desperately wanted out, yet couldn’t get it out.
It took many years of life to work through all of the emotions. Looking back, I wish I had been out into therapy sooner, it would have been helpful to have someone professional walk me through all of the feelings I had. Aka my advice is to GO TO THERAPY if you are struggling with your diagnosis, It will help to talk about it out-loud in a safe space. It continuously helps me now as I learn adapt and adjust to all of life's events while living with this disease.
The darkest moments for me mentally, are when I am coming to terms with a new complication of the disease, or when I have been on a medication for a long time and it still doesn’t help. It's in those moments where I almost want to give up--where I really wish I could raise a little white flag and surrender. Never having to deal with it all again, BUT the one thing I keep realizing over and over again, is that there isn't any giving up. There is only getting over. Whether it's another complication, procedure, CVS run, or insurance call, it is all something you have to get through and over to the other side.
Something else that has helped me the most, besides therapy, are SSRIs. I have been on them for about 2 years now and they have been a MAJOR game changer for me mentally. They just help take the edge off of my anxiety and depression, it helps level me out. I have quickly come to terms with the fact that I need extra help. There shouldn't be any shame in needing extra help mentally to get through it all, if anything I encourage it. We have to overcome enough as it is, might as well accept the help if it's out there!
Sharing my journey has also been really therapeutic to me as well. If what I have gone through is similar to someone else, or even if hearing my story could help someone get through their own, helps to validate what I am feeling both mentally and physically. It's that connection and visibility that brings me healing, it helps me feel seen.
There is no way to avoid the additional mental health work that goes along with the diagnosis of IBD, thankfully we are further along now to have better options out there to get more of the help we all need.
If you are reading this and are struggling, just know I am here to listen. `
