Introducing…Apparel & More
Growing up with IBD made me feel so restricted and different from everyone else. I was too sick to do a lot of normal things for a long time. For almost 3 years I was completely bedridden, not for a lack of trying to get up but because my body couldn’t be vertical for long. Because I had 6 fistulas in my bladder, because I had a stricture in my illeosecal valve, because I lost all of my weight and was only 88 pounds, because IBD is more than just a pooping disease, and because I had surgery that both saved my life, and took it away from me, for another year as well.
During all of that down time, I read books, and I dreamed of a future where I wasn’t in bed, where I could be free to be normal. Ever since I gained my life back after that surgery though, I have always felt that I have been the furthest thing from normal. At the end of the day my IBD took over my life. There is no sugar coating that or pretending otherwise. But once I was feeling better, I was now adamant to never let it become a part of my personality as well, to not wear it as a crutch or a badge of honor. I felt it would be better to be completely free of it, to hide it away. But how can you not do that exact thing when you survived the impossible? When your body both destroys itself and heals itself within the span of a few years. How do you let all of that inspiration you gained from yourself and the experience, just go and not impact your daily life?
Spoiler alert: it’s pretty hard not to.
So I realized that if I was going to have this disease that has the ability to completely take over my life, then I am going to do everything in my power to try and stop it one day. The only way I can do that is by personally raising awareness, by building community that can rely and support one another through their journeys with these horrific diseases, and by donating to the people who can find a cure--those smart ass scientists out there, wherever they are. With all of the time I had on my hands growing up, I dreamed of a time where I would be able to use my own talents to try and stop IBD. I knew one way would be by writing about it (since that'll always be my first passion) but also I dreamed of one day:
Wearing it.
That is right ladies and gentlemen. I have been riddled with this concept in my mind of running my own merch brand for IBD, but doing it in a real cute and….well badass sort of way. Once I found brands like Lonely Ghost, MadHappy, and Unfinished Apparel, I was even more addicted to this idea in my head. Why just build an online brand, when you can also build a physical community by sharing and wearing merch as well, where all of the proceeds are donated to those same scientists that can find a cure.
So I designed my own…two months ago and I have been wearing my own hoodie, about my bad ass, ever since. But I haven't been able to get myself to post it, to get it out there in front of my IBD people. I was mostly just scared and making excuses as to why I shouldn't. But ya know what? I love them and I know someone out there is going to too. This is me taking a leap while reminding you to stop procrastinating your own special thing you want to do. Go share it with the world.
Today feels right though, sure it's a little too ironic of a day for me but it needs to be done. Plus I need to raise money for my Take Steps team so all of the proceeds will go to CCFA.
Introducing Badass w a Bad Ass, the brand, the apparel, and hopefully a state of mind and a way of life. I hope these sweatshirts help you find your next new friend in a crowd, or gets you to share your story, or just empowers you to know that you are not alone in the battle.
Available on https://www.bonfire.com/badasswabadass/ link can also be found in my instagram bio.
